You may think bullying is limited to schoolyards and playgrounds, but it’s prevalent in the workplace as well. There are several managers who treat their staff poorly, or attempt to embarrass or demean them in front of a crowd of their peers.
Typically, the bully has some hidden insecurity, but that thought alone doesn’t make it any easier for those at the brunt of the verbal berates.
When I graduated college, I had the pleasure of working for a bully. She talked down to me and belittled me in front of others. She even criticized me for chewing gum during a meeting (and I was just dumfounded considering this was someone who would put her feet on the table). She made me carry her folders and pull up a chair for her if there wasn’t one. I felt much like a maid and less like an equal coworker.
I remember trying to figure out what I could do to earn her respect — to “improve” our relationship. But then I realized I was blaming myself for her inadequacies. That’s when I realized that for a brief moment, I had let her win. She was getting the best of me, and she knew it. And that downright ticked me off. So, eventually, I vowed to not let her intimidate me any more. Thankfully, it wasn’t long before she was transferred and I was free of her.
The bullying, however, was a life lesson I won’t forget. I’d made the assumption that all managers had their employees’ best interests in mind, that they fostered a team-oriented atmosphere and showed appreciation for their work.
Don’t get me wrong — I did receive accolades from her from time to time. This woman wasn’t the devil, but I was almost certain she might grow horns someday. I longed for nothing more than to get out the boxing gloves my dad had bought me long ago for when my brother and I needed to duke it out, but I knew in my heart that wouldn’t have been the proper way to handle the situation. I’m certain, however, that I could’ve knocked her out if given the chance. Lucky for me, the problem took care of itself.
Others may not be so lucky. Dawn Rosenberg McKay, a career planning professional on About.com, has tips for those who are being bullied:
1. Look to a trusted mentor for advice. Maybe they’ve been through a similar experience.
2. If possible, try confronting the bully in a professional manner.
3. Don’t turn the situation into an office battle where people take sides.
4. Don’t feel intimidated by the bully. “You know your true worth. Don’t forget what it is,” says McKay.
5. Put the most into your job since the bully doesn’t want to see you succeed.
Bullies need to realize that employees like and respect their superiors and colleagues when they are easy to get along with and pass out compliments for jobs well done.
If you are a company leader, be on the lookout for bullies. According to Winning Workplaces, “It is very difficult for leaders to know what people in the heart of the organization are thinking” or doing for that matter.
To get a better understanding, Winning Workplaces suggests the use of an employee opinion survey for gathering input on a number of work-related scenarios, and individual assessments on the performance of other employees within the company.
Follow these tips so your employees can leave their boxing gloves at home.
