Lately I have reminisced about the days of old. Recounting our triumphs and failures over the course of almost three decades of working in the automotive aftermarket and service industry, and generally waxing melancholy. Some of those stories are in regards to major victories involving competition, and a lesser (thank goodness) number of failures.
But the ones that stick-out the most are the ridiculous and surreal happenings of everyday life in all things automotive. These are but three vignettes of life behind a parts counter and dealing with the public. I apologize in advance for the special characters used in place of the words that would appropriately represent the actual improper colorful language. Enjoy.
Your cheatin’ heart
Had a lady pull in the parking lot, looked around sheepishly, and briskly walk through our doors and asked if we could look at her Dodge Caravan. When I asked what sort of problem she was having she explained with angst that the speedometer was not working, the van was shifting weird, the vents were not working at all settings and all the rear window wiper buttons were flashing on and off.
Being a savvy parts and service manager I explained what I anticipated was wrong, and she presented numerous receipts of things she had purchased from another repair shop that were in align with my hasty assessment of the situation. After looking over the receipts, I noticed the repair center had charged her absolutely no labor. She then whispered that her husband works there as a tech, and he doesn’t know she’s here!
I told her this was like “cheating” on her husband, and very quickly took her keys, and told her where the darkest corner of the waiting room was. She had spent several hundred dollars on parts and explained that she was sick and tired of the problems that had persisted for several months regardless of the attempted efforts of her husband and the other shop.
She said that someone where she works told her that we could fix anything. Forty-five minutes later after reprogramming the climate control module and repairing a wire going to the transmission control module, we had it all working properly. She was so happy, but then worried about what her husband would say when he found out everything was working. I told her to tell him that she hit a bump on the way home and it fixed itself. She brought us a dozen doughnuts the next morning and told us that her husband said, “I knew it was a bad ground.” I told her she should probably come clean because too many people witnessed the event.
A ‘rattle’ under the hood
Once Friday afternoon two gals walked in from what can only be described as coming from "the deep, deep, head of the holler." After their old Chevy S-10 quit spark knocking with a final backfire and coming to rest, both jumped out of the truck in a scramble to put a rock behind the front tire keep the vehicle from rolling away.
With much ado they burst through the front door, exclaiming, "They's a @#1!!*% copperhead under the hood of that #@!&^%$ Chevy out yonder, I know cause I can smell the %$@*&$ thing. And we know what snakes smelt like, cause this here girl of mine house sits for my brother e'ry Thursday, Friday, Satty-day, causin' he has to go to jail them days on count of some stupid $%$t he did back in the winter time, and he’s got three pet snakes, a copperhead, and two big $%#@ rattlers. Heck, when I go to his shack of a house, I takes a 'chetty, a big $$%#@ hammer when I go. I hate them $$*&^% snakes."
Then her daughter chimes in, "Heck she's %%$#&* crazy. I try to stays away from her, 'specially if'n she off her meds or has ran out of snuff!"
They bought some parts and unceremoniously drove away, but not before lifting the hood and poking around the engine compartment with a big stick.
No good deed goes unpunished
We are an auto parts store, a service center, and dabble in a few other things as well. Being a U-Haul dealer is a nice draw for our business, but it does come with problems of its own.
A potential customer called and asked if I had any U-Haul tow dollies, to which I replied "yes." She went on to explain that another dealer she had picked her 15-foot truck from also had a dolly, but it was buried in snow, and they couldn't get it out, so they referred her to me. That seemed strange, but, whatever. She said she would arrive around 3 p.m. to pick it up. A few minutes before 5 p.m., she called and said she was 30 minutes away. We close at 5 p.m., but I agreed to wait, and me and one of my guys dug out our tow dolly and got it prepared (de-iced, etc.)
At 5:45 p.m. she pulled in with her daughter, granddaughter, and a mongrel of a mutt. Before exiting the car, she decided to clean the trash out of her car, and empty all of the half full sodas in a snow pile next to our entrance. I was watching and patiently waiting as she then fired up a smoke, and whipped out her cell phone. Talking on the phone and smoking her cigarette, she and the other two girls walked the mangy dog around my lot. Then she came inside, still on the cell phone talking for another five minutes. It's now 6 p.m.
She finally comes up to the counter, and we begin to process the contract, when I inquired about her delay, she quipped, "It's not my fault I got stuck up in the snow." So that must have been my fault. Plowing on, I asked for her driver’s license and credit card.
"I packed all of that in the back of the truck! Goodness." Ten more minutes of digging around, talking on the cell phone, and smoking, she came back inside, and we finished the contract. She looked at the contract and said the price was all wrong, she was quoted $51 less by someone called "they."
Another few minutes to sort things out to prove it was the correct price, and we walked outside to hook up the dolly. I backed the truck up, hooked everything up, explained everything to her about the dolly, and bid her ado. She barked back, "Are you not gonna put my car on there?" Reluctantly, I said OK. She then told me she would drive it on if I would secure it. OK. She got in her car, put the car in reverse, and smoked the front tires because the emergency brake was on. I pecked on her window and explained, and then she said, "no they are not!" Again smoking the tires. I pecked on the window again, and said, "Yes, they are!" She checked, pulled a lever, and popped the hood, then released the brake finally after fumbling around. Guess what? Now the hood won't latch back because the cable and latch were frozen. After a few more minutes of de-icing the hood was closed, and she swung around to pull up on the dolly. Six attempts later, I convinced her that she should let me do it. "Don't get any grease or mud in my car" she said. My teeth were grinding, but I got the car on there and secured everything. She got in the car to get a few things out, then asked me a few more questions, and then proclaimed, "I'm not sure I can drive this thing, I've never done this before."
Further instruction, and she thought she could handle it after all. Then she told me how rude I was for asking those questions about her being late, told me to do something about my slick parking lot, and got in the truck to leave. As she was leaving, I noticed the rear wheels of the car were dragging, ran after her, slapping the side of the truck to make her stop. She stopped, jumped out of the truck, and screamed at me. I asked her if she set the emergency brake again, and she said, "Yes, you idiot, I don't want it rolling off the dolly!"
After explaining to her a few more things, she climbed back into the car and released the brake. Then they all asked to use my restroom. All three ladies used the restroom, and the dog did also in my front showroom. I gave her some paper towels to clean it up, and she said, “can't you do that, I just washed my hands.”
I said, “sure thing, I think you guys should be on you way, it's getting dark.” Then she told me she's never renting from U-Haul again, to which I said, "That's probably mutually beneficial, have a safe trip."
I think I should have a reality show on A&E. I bet other shop owners could too.
Subscribe to Aftermarket Business World and receive articles like this every month….absolutely free. Click here.
