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Not all personal conflicts have to result in ending a relationship. We had a situation in our shop recently in which a newer employee was not participating in our 51-year-old ritual of moving everything out of the shop on Friday and cleaning up. When it was brought up at a morning meeting after 5 weeks of grumbling, an understanding was reached on both sides, and I didn’t have to get involved. I prefer to let my employees solve their own issues, as long as they are not affecting everyone else. Sometimes they need a push or a mediator, but our crew has learned to speak up before they get so upset about something that a win/win resolution becomes less likely.
Sometimes there is no resolution, and we know it either logically or emotionally —oftentimes both. These are the problems that we generally have waited too long to address or the insidious creeping vines that choke our culture and limit our ability to adapt and run our business. I will display this by sharing a non-business related situation that I recently went through. I sing in a group that has known each other since grade school: eight individuals who have grown into productive, successful adults. We sing together for fun, we perform for free and most of us use our Sunday night rehearsals as a way to leave our crazy business and family lives at the doorstep for a couple of hours. As with all groups, we have evolved. What started as a request to sing with the performance group we all were part of in high school has turned into a serious effort to arrange and perform our own versions of pop songs from our generation and current songs that fit our style of A Cappella.
One of our members harbored a desire to do material and a type of show that the rest of us did not agree with. He did not like the songs we were choosing and made as little effort as possible to learn them. We had a performance or two that suffered for that. After three years together, we were forced to deal with it. The ultimate ending was that we felt that the difference in cultural vision and his expressed inability to learn the material left us with no choice but to move on. It was something that seven of us agreed to, but we could not all come to an agreement on how to end a relationship that had been this long in the making.
Ultimately, our leader took all of the input he received and what we knew about our friend and came up with the best solution he could. Many were not happy with his approach. In situations like this, the leader is in a no-win situation. We had a long discussion, which is a normal and natural part of this type of change. As would be expected when emotions are a key part of a decision, there were many what ifs, if onlys and feelings of heartbreak for our friend. After we reached the end of the things we had to say, we sang our set. There was a crispness and perfection that we had been seeking, but had not achieved in three years of effort. Parts of songs that had been difficult were suddenly much easier. Harmonies soared with just the right amount of support from underneath.
So the question is: Do you have a relationship that is keeping you from singing? How long until you restore your harmony?
