Recently I coached a young executive, and she spent the entire hour speaking of the challenges she faced being positive because of the relationship she had with her two siblings, their children and her mother. She lamented over and over about how difficult it was to be positive around these people. She told me story after story about how they found the negative in almost everything and saw themselves as victims of circumstances. They constantly chose to blame others for everything going wrong in their lives.
This young woman had recently completed our fully immersive, intense, 4 day, off the grid, experiential Master Graduate Leadership Program and decided to enroll in the group coaching after the class to sustain the positive breakthroughs she had experienced during the program.
These family members mocked her for being positive and found a way every day to create something negative and asked her, "Is it still a great day to be alive?"
After the group coaching series ended, she continued the effort to sustain her benefits and enrolled in our "1:1" coaching. Anyone that has completed our training will agree that sustainability is the key after completing one of our programs. Unless you deliberately choose to practice new behaviors, you are destined to return to the land of the familiar, better known as your comfort zone.
Sometimes the sustainability and the growth to your next level is made more difficult or even prevented at times due to the unnecessary baggage we refuse to let go of and consequently choose to drag along on our journey to change. This unnecessary baggage can be people, old outdated beliefs, or circumstances that happened.
My coaching to this young woman was that in order to live a purposeful, happy, joyous, rewarding, invigorating, stimulating, enthusiastically positive life we have to allow relationships that have passed their expiration date, to move on. Some people feel obligated to remain in the decaying or dead relationship because of the expectations of what others think they should do. I assure you, there is a huge difference between doing things right and doing the right thing. It is possible to do the wrong thing right as you sit and wait for someone else to change in order for the relationship to improve. And when the relationship does not improve, you feel like a victim.
Once you have experienced our Master Graduate Leadership Program, you are crystal clear that in the context of this conversation there are NO victims, only volunteers.